is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
