he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
