Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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