did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
