let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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