This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
