life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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