shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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