Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
