note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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