community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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