Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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