your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
