I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
