Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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