I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize