Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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