He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
