Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
