I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize