letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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