if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
