i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
