He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
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don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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