i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
