I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
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So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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