I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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