i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
