she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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