He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
