I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
