dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
where are my eyebrows?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
