I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
