I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
