I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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