I wanna bring you to show and tell
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
