I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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