I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
