She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I am midnight drunk by noon
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
