Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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