He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
