it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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