I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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