just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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