In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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