we're blogging at a bar
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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