my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
it was like eating out sand paper
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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