They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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