just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
