I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
