Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
