I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
mondays should just be called national damage control day
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize