wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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