Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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