Its about making memories worth repressing
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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