Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just barfed on his mom.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.

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  (770): I just barfed on his mom. (404): You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault. http://tfl.nu/yh5a
  Replies (8) Good night (823) Bad night (1329)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo

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  (530): the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo http://tfl.nu/dqpo
  Replies (25) Good night (10630) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.

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  (913): Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in. http://tfl.nu/xn3x
  Replies (16) Good night (924) Bad night (3279)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.

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  (225): walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans. http://tfl.nu/3s10
  Replies (24) Good night (5238) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.

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  (314): He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life. http://tfl.nu/k4q7
  Replies (33) Good night (988) Bad night (5867)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  Seriously?

  (305): View more from Florida

  100%

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  (305): I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox? (1-305): Seriously? (305): 100% http://tfl.nu/w2fu
  Replies (15) Good night (6876) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  why does the wii remote smell like your vag?

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  (512): why does the wii remote smell like your vag? http://tfl.nu/z7m2
  Replies (55) Good night (2111) Bad night (9129)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom

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  (207): you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/am8n
  Replies (11) Good night (5530) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.

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  (406): I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead. http://tfl.nu/61nj
  Replies (3) Good night (1643) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.

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  (717): Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself. http://tfl.nu/4nxp
  Replies (10) Good night (2151) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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  (920): So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate http://tfl.nu/3qfe
  Replies (1) Good night (1155) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.

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  (516): I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special. http://tfl.nu/z6a2
  Replies (6) Good night (564) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"

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  (757): And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!" http://tfl.nu/qrns
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success

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  (314): everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success http://tfl.nu/6cn0
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.

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  (336): he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded. http://tfl.nu/l70w
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (241)

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