Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"

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  (704): Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?" http://tfl.nu/740o
  Replies (9) Good night (2099) Bad night (759)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

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  (410): cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me http://tfl.nu/jebo
  Replies (11) Good night (673) Bad night (2175)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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  (541): He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes http://tfl.nu/g6v6
  Replies (19) Good night (734) Bad night (3662)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..

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  (515): RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us.. http://tfl.nu/3ryz
  Replies (11) Good night (4943) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

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  (503): The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/nvzw
  Replies (20) Good night (6478) Bad night (1602)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed

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  (256): Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed http://tfl.nu/b65f
  Replies (5) Good night (2798) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk

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  (904): It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk http://tfl.nu/fnmq
  Replies (4) Good night (3245) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

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  (304): Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you http://tfl.nu/fgii
  Replies (20) Good night (3027) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men

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  (315): Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men http://tfl.nu/a6p1
  Replies (4) Good night (1214) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.

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  (814): Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME. http://tfl.nu/nij2
  Replies (6) Good night (1171) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.

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  (570): They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America. http://tfl.nu/4pz5
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  It's 4 in the afternoon........

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  (860): Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong (1-860): It's 4 in the afternoon........ http://tfl.nu/ra1k
  Replies (2) Good night (870) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight

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  (630): Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight http://tfl.nu/q3l9
  Replies (6) Good night (1045) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.

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  (989): I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway. http://tfl.nu/fnux
  Replies (1) Good night (322) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate

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  (206): I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate http://tfl.nu/ugs5
  Replies (0) Good night (262) Bad night (487)

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