She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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