jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
