fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
