OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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