Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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