dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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