well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
